A Brief History of Benjamachine

If you take pictures of yourself in a mirror, chances are good that people will wonder what the hell you're doing. My friend here was too hammered to ever find the answer to that question.

Welcome to the Halls of Benjamachine. I’ve always wanted to be a benjamachinist, but a) such things don’t exist, and b) I’m much too slow a mechanic for that job to be a practical use of my (or anyone else’s) time. So I suppose one could say that a benjamachinist is someone who has been casually let go from a mechanic-ing job for wrenching too slowly (but who wants quantity over quality anyway?!).

Here’s how it all went down. After skimming through a number of occupations — car mechanic, reluctant and uninformed telecom technician, park ranger, beach lifeguard, ambulance driver, CPR instructor, dredging surveyor, sea turtle research assistant, substitute teacher and one or two other briefer, perhaps stranger ones — I finally landed on journalism as a profession (although I still have aspirations of being a firefighter, and an army helicopter pilot, and a rancher, and…). That doesn’t, however, stop me from being an astute observer of, and participator in, the ridiculous. Ridiculousness doesn’t pursue me as doggedly as it once did, but still manages to find me from time to time. It’s more or less my modus operandi, I suppose, and seems to keep life rolling along at an interesting pace.

Bearing all of that in mind, after you’ve satisfied your voracious appetite for my trite ramblings on this blog, I cordially invite you leave this page to observe my observations of the various minutiae that make up local news in Telluride, Colorado, where I’m the associate editor at the Telluride Daily Planet (and no, I do not periodically pop out of phone booths wearing blue and red tights and save people from self made disasters, although the idea has been attractive on slow news days).

Now, I know what you’re thinking, the tiny town of Telluride isn’t the center of the world, but I’m here to tell you that a great many people are convinced that it is, and I’ll be damned if some of the strangest people I’ve ever met don’t live here. Hell, it keeps me going, and after all of the random experiences I’ve subjected myself to, I’m finding it harder to keep myself entertained, making that feat an impressive one.

So feel free to take a peek on the Telluride Daily Planet website. If local news isn’t your schtick, check out some other articles I’ve written for Miller-McCune Magazine, the Columbia Water Center and Globalpost.

Prepare to be underwhelmed by the lack of truly interesting news on the Planet’s site, but there are a couple of things you should know. One, we must keep the advertisers happy, yes we must. And two, there really are some gems in there from time to time, although most of the good parts gets cut in the name of decency. What can one do…

At any rate, I’d really rather have you do the me, me, me thing (no, not you, me) and read some of my stories on this blog. Maybe they’ll annoy you, but they might make you laugh, they might inspire you and, well little Jimmy [gives best 50s-era Ward Cleaver voice impression], you just might learn something, even if it is only more about the depravity of humankind (myself included).

Cheers, and happy reading.



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